Balanced Mind,  Health

Was It a Mistake or a Choice?

Have you ever said that you were sorry and that you made a mistake? I have..many times. But recently I have learned that I might have made a choice instead. What is the difference you ask? Well, let me explain. I was reading the book The Noticer by Author Andy Andrews and on page 117 a character named Henry was complaining that after spending many years hurting his wife, friends, and employees he didn’t understand why they did not all forgive him after he had said he was sorry and had made mistakes.

Then another character named Jones went on to explain to Henry that when one makes a mistake an apology is made and is then usually accepted,  but when the apology is not accepted it is usually because you made a choice and not a mistake. An interesting thought because most people may not even know why their apology was not accepted. The reason according to Andrews is some of us may not have learned the difference between the two. For example, If I wasn’t home for my spouse’s birthday was that a mistake or a choice? If I did something I was told not to do and got caught, was it a mistake or a choice? When you lied to your partner, your friend, or your boss, was it a mistake or a choice?

So when your friends and partners view you as making a choice instead of a mistake, they do not forgive you so easily. You have lost their trust and now it will take some time to regain it. A simple sorry just will not do. In the book, I understand that when one makes a bad choice the only way to repair the relationship is with true remorse and by asking for forgiveness. This may take some time and a lot of small positive actions on your part to show the person who was hurt how they can depend on you again. For more insight read the Balanced Mind section of our blog.